i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
