He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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