I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
