That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
