Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
