Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am one with the molecules
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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