his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
