tell your sister to shave her snatch
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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