Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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