I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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