I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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