im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
