I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
