That's intense
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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