I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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