gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
