operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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