allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
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I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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