well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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