This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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