she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
