Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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