Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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