You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
