Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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