I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
