i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
