why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
