new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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