Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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