fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
