Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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