At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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