I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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