Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
