Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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