Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
