So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
