Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
