What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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