but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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