i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
