I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
