don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
