I seem to have left my pride at pride
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize