I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Everyone says I win the strip club
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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