? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
