I hope mine doesn't look like that
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
