please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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