are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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