i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.