I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana