There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
