But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
