the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
