I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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