Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
