Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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