I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
