I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize