She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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