Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
