I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
