i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
